"Does this make my butt look big?"
"Do you like this one better?"
"Can you help me with something?"
These are typical questions that women ask their significant others all of the time, and they seem simple enough to answer..from a woman's perspective. Despite their simplicity, men continue to get the wrong answer. This clearly points out that the way that men and women communicate are completely different. When a woman asks if her butt looks big, she never wants to hear that it is, she wants to hear reassurance that its not. If a man asked that, he would probably honestly want to know. These instances point to the fact that men and women do truly think differently. For men, conversation is a contest, but with women, if is a way to tell someone how you're feeling and get support (just like in the 'big butt' example).
These miscommunications can lead to conflicts if they are not avoided. For men, they take what they hear very literally, not thinking if there are any underlying messages for them to figure out. This can be a very good thing or a very bad thing. Women, on the other hand, pick apart every telephone call and every email to prove to themselves something that might not be there is true. Inevitably this leads to problems in relationships and friendships.
Another characteristic common to the female race is the never ending "I'm sorry". Although women hardly recognize that they are doing it, men are very aware and it is not in their nature to apologize a lot. This tendency is common among women because it keeps both speakers on an equal footing; meanwhile, men see it as putting oneself down. It may seem that the woman is taking the blame in the conversation, but it really only ends up being a strategy to keep the conversation flowing.
It is obvious to see that men and women are very different creatures. It is hard to live with men/women, but without the other it would be impossible. We must put up with our differences, and by acknowledging the sheer fact that we are different is the first step. Women are "socialized on Venus", and men are "socialized on mars", which has led to our vast dissimilarity.
I really like this post because it nails the problem of communication between males and females right on the head. There has always been and will alawys remain to be confusion in the dialect between females and males. I am a victim of it too, Ill tell my boyfriend my hair looks so bad and I can admit I'm just looking for him to say "no its not you look beautiful" so I can feel reasured. It happens all the time. When I tell my boyfriend a comment about his hair or maybe the outfit he chose he takes it very literally and it sometimes can lead to a mini argument. He tells me I'm too critical when in reality I'm just trying to help!
ReplyDeleteThe other point in this post about how women analyze every little detail about a convorsation to brew up a possible situation also happens ALL the time. A girl will string together a couple of nice comments a boy may have given her and boom, she thinks he is in love with her, when in reality he was just being nice. I dont think this constant miscommunication between males and females will ever end because it is just how we were made to think.
Guys may think its stupid when girls say Im sorry about EVERYTHING, but we feel the need to reasure ourselves that it was an accident, and if we did anything to the other person, now its okay because we apologized. Were just being nice and letting the other person know it was unintentional whatever the situation was.
Cassidy Lundmark
5th hour
I agree this post and Cassidy's as well. The miscommunication between men and women eventually affects everyone, and will continue to do so for years to come. There are few men that can openly communicate with their significant other. And there are even fewer women who don't want to communicate with their boyfriend or husband. This will always lead to issues between men and women, because we tend to be too blind to notice it when we are the ones in the relationship. As a girl, whenever we ask a yes-or-no question, we want more than yes or no. We'd like a story with a beginning, middle, and ending. It's not about being nosey or annoying, women genuinely want to know what is going on in their man's life.
ReplyDeletehayley nolan